The Cuddly Curmudgeon

At&T: Discrimination and Identity-privacy violation

2012-01-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

I recently asked some of my Linked-In contracts for their knowledge and opinion of a company requiring a person's SSN BEFORE they will even accept a resume from a person or recruiter. There really is no legitimate reason for this. I could lead to identity theft. The offending company if AT&T. I run in to this because as a consultant/contractor, I do project work and I get contacted by many different recruiter, 5-10, every day about At&T projects. I suppose being a large company and having many open opportunities makes AT&T feel entitled to to just about any boundary and ethics violation. Also At&T asks for the moon! They want one person to do the ob of 5 - 5 specialties, and development skills alone so broad as to be very hard to find. They are using every recruiter in the world - not just American workers to do their R work. I find this offensive, as this county needs jobs. They should hire an American recruiter. In spite of the difficulty of matching the requirements (for all positions and locations, the same), all recruiters tell me that I have the package it is very hard to find one with this skill set. In spite of that AT&T has not interest in me. I did some checking on the net and it seems there are allegations with some evidence, that AT&T requires SSNs up front so as to rule out mature applicants. hat does explain a lot and another thing I can add to my list of things to dislike about AT&T. Read more: http://community.ere.net/groups/atlanta-recruiters/discussions/912/

The Decline of Civility

2012-01-23T10:51:00.000-05:00

Although generation after generation bemoans the loss of social morays to which they have become accustomed, I fear that this time the effect is too extreme, pervasive and lasting.

To begin, I see signs that the USA, once and always a strong, proud and dynamic country built on the middle class is losing that middle class foundation. I see it taking swift strides toward emulating a third world culture in which, as demonstrated (double entendre intended) by occupy wall street, the upper one percent is countered by a lower ninety-nine percent in which the traditional U.S. middle class is being squeezed out of existence.

I was a member of that vast middle class, and I say was because I am no longer sure where I fit in, except that it is not in the upper one percent nor anywhere near it. The notion of socioeconomic status is seemingly outdated.

There was a time perhaps when because money afforded education, profession and upbringing they were equal. Now, people with all of these attributes may have no job, a job not suited, and no money. Conversely some with no education, poor speech, no manners or social graces are able to attain greater financial status and stability than those who do have all of the graces necessary for social status.

Summer Hospitality - How to Welcome Guests in the Summer

2009-06-12T14:19:00.003-04:00

How Welcome Guests in the Summer

Hospitality is a concept that exists in some form or other in all countries and has since the dawn on time. It was a custom from days when life was harsh and perilous. Travelers, neighbors, friends and even strangers in need were able to stop at any home for shelter, food and water. No decent person would turn another away knowing that he too would have need and must rely on others.
We may not have the same needs today, but still a refreshing drink on a hot day after commuting an hour in a car or being out shopping is considerate. It is now relegated to social grace and good upbringing, but it is still a custom cherished in many cultures. How we treat others shows a lot about our character. Sadly social grace, hospitality and character are far too often found lacking today. Just because someone has not travelled the desert on a camel is not reason to not offer a cool beverage.
Given that summer is upon us, for those who have either forgotten or who grew up in cool climates let’s look at some of the things that are typical of greeting a guest in the deep south, which is known for its southern hospitality. Again, far too many in the big cities no longer practice it, sadly. There are a few things that have had to change due to crime, and that should be common sense. I was raised to never refuse to answer the door and never fail to invite someone inside. Of course, this is not safe, and I never answer the door for strangers. As far as people you are expecting, contractors, workers, friends and others, we answer the door for them. When you do so, you always invite someone inside and immediately offer them something to drink. In the summer, sweet iced tea is the staple, and a sprig of mint in it is very refreshing. Lemonade is also great for cooling and refreshing. At least have ice water or soda. I usually offer a selection. I also always keep snacks – healthy snacks like nuts, crackers, and fruit in the house. It is replenishing, light and easy to offer. This is certainly very easy – almost not worth mentioning, yet I do so because I notice that people no longer do it! Oddly enough, those from old world countries still have the nice hospitality. Perhaps these countries simply have not forgotten their culture and manners.
These customs are very similar to hot weather customs in other countries. Indeed the desert cultures, even back to ancient time were quite strict about hospitality and it is still extremely important in those cultures. In the ancient Arab and Mediterranean cultures is was a feuding offense to failure to offer hospitality. The hospitality included (as it did here in times past) offering a finger bowl to wash up and freshen oneself and cool off. People also removed their shoes and washed their feet. Not only is it hygienic and keeps from tracking dirt into the house, but it is very cooling. People in the south, if very hot, were often offered a cool wet towel.
We may think this unnecessary today with air conditioning and such, but t is still best to make guests as comfortable as possible and make them feel welcome. We have a saying in the south, “Make yourself at home,” and we mean it. It means that we want you to be comfortable and at ease in our house as you are in your house. Now, that is hospitality!

Image Credits:

Renee Comet/WikiMedia Commons

Reliable People

2009-05-13T12:53:00.000-04:00

I often find myself surrounded by unreliable people. They do not keep appointments, they are always late, they do not pay on time, they do not do what they said they were going to do. In short, they do not keep their word. While you can't really say this is exaclty dishonest, there is a shred of dishonesty in it - not keeing your word. The difference is they do not intend to lie, they just can never be counted on to do as they say.

This is especially frustrating when you live your life on a schedule. I have work to do, responsibilites, obligations. If I did not it would still be rude and frustrating, but work-wise it does not work at all.

It is really hard to make work well when clients do not keep appointments, do not show up on time, and do not pay on time. I have strugggled for years trying to get these unreliable people at least comply to the extent that I can function - to no avail.

Finally it was pointed out to me by another person, who like me, is reliable, that you cannot get anyone to be reliable. I guess being a teacher and a writer I feel that I should be able to teach them to do that and that it is part of my job. My firend's opinion was that it is all about character, which you cannot change. People are either reliable or not. So, if I need for the people in my life to be reliable so that my business is succcessful and also my personal life successful (and so that I still have my hair left), then I must replace the unreliable people with reliable people. I must be selective.

So be it - To a much better year this year!

Phone Etiquette; How to Place a Call

2009-05-13T12:42:00.001-04:00

Here is a right way to do it. Until you have mastered it, please stay off the phone. I guarantee you offend everyone you call even if for trying to be polite they say nothing.

1) Prepare yourself before you dial. Who are you calling, what is the purpose of your call and what are you going to say. No hem-haw, or uh . . . uh . . . uh, please.
2) The first thing you say is to identify yourself: if a personal call, your name, if a professional call, your name and company.
The second thing - and usually in the same breath and sentence with number 1, is to state your reason for calling.
Then and only then may you take care of your business and close.

Example:

Hi, this is Cuddly Crum, calling from Blogspot and I want to make an appointment for a fitting this week.

Hi, this is CuddlyCrum and I am calling to see if we can schedule lunch for one day this week.

Hi, this is Cuddly Crum and I am just calling to see how you are doing. So, what is new with you?

On the same note, when someone tries to close and end the phone call, please let them!
Oh, OK, well, it has been nice talking to you. I'll chat with you later. Bye.

Phone Etiquette: Rude Calls

2009-05-13T12:34:00.001-04:00

There is a right way and a wrong way to use the telehone, and I wish those who do not know or respect the difference would please abstain.

I received a voice message today. They caller said that I should call such and such number and ask for such and such. Well, I do not know the incoming number, I do not recognize the voicem the caller id dnot identify himself, so why should I call!?

I sometimes receive calls ro someone I know saying "Hey, it's me," or "Hey, what are you doing." The obvous response to the first is, "Who is 'me'." The obvious response to the second is, "Answering the phone and listening to vague dribble from God knows who because I certainly do not."

The one that just torches me is answering the phone to be told, "hold on." The obvious response is, "No way in hell."

The other torcher is answering the phone to a swall of noise, or yelling or background noise and/or the caller talknig abvoiusly in conversatoin with someone else. So, then why did you cal me? please wait until you have finished your first conversation. How rude! The obvious resonse is: hang up.

Etiquette or rather just behaviing being considerately

2009-05-13T12:25:00.001-04:00

When people hear the word "etiquette" they usually think of which fork goes where at the dinner table and such. Etiquette is more than table manners, which is such a small part of it. It is really good manners in everything you do. It is socially accepted standards of behavior which separate the crass from the polite and polished. It is doing things in such a way as to be considerate of others.

Why do we not chew with our mouths open? Because others do not want to see it and we are considerate enough of others to not wish to make them suffer that.

Why do we pick up after ourselves? Because we care enough about others to not make them our cleaning slaves.

Why do we wait for others to sit down and get ready to eat before we begin? Because we care enough about them to want to share a meal with them and not subject them to just watching us eat.

Why do we first announce ourselves when phoning someone? because we care enough to not make them waste their time listening to bable while trying to figure out to whom they are talking and why.

Simply - it is considerate. That is how we do things in the real south.

Summer in the South

2008-06-08T12:58:00.000-04:00

Here in the deep south it is often said that we don't have seasons. We don't have a true four seasons. We may get a couple of weeks of respite in the spring and fall time of the year, but as far as temperature goes, nature knows only two speeds here - hot and cold. Well, that is true for parts of the south, other parts it is just one speed - hot.

I grew up here accustomed to the heat and the high humidity. That is something we have that other hot areas, such as dry desert areas lack - the humidity, and boy is it humid! The air can be so heavy that it feels like trying to breathe a blanket. I am not so used to it anymore, even though I have continued to live in the south. Air conditioning has spoiled me and since I work indoors, I just don't spend a lot of time outside, as in necessary to become accustomed to it.

The temperature set in either hot or cold and then goes up and down like a yo-yo and as soon as the yo-yo stops you know that the current state is there to stay. It is June and as usualy got hot all of a sudden and it will stay that way and get only worse in July and August. I always wondered how the Latins, such as Latin Americans have such a repuation for passion and it is said that in warm temperatures live warm, passionate people. I just don't understand it. It is too hot to be passionate. Who can cuddle in 98 degree whether?